What’s Your Biggest Mistake?

What’s your biggest mistake? Everyone has one or two. I have a long track record of making mistakes which I really don’t consider mistakes. I’ve made decisions based on facts that I had at the time and some decisions worked out beautifully and others could be classified as disasters. I don’t spend time a lot of time looking in the rear view mirror contemplating my errors. It isn’t my nature. I consider the results of my actions, what I’ve learned and I move on. No time for regrets.

Spending time ruminating the past doesn’t serve any useful purpose except to drive yourself crazy but yet we all do it at various time. So, I ask again, do you have a mistake that you regret? Does it hold you back? Review it and file it away because you cannot move forward unless you put the past away.

Meet Joel Green, Age Four.

I would like to introduce you to Joel Green and his family.  When I saw this video, Joel was 4 years old. In truth, I cannot tell you if Joel is still alive. In fact, I don’t know much about him except that his parents would do what every parent would do if they had a Joel. They would give up their lives for him.

Judging from the video, Joel does not truly understand the depths of his problem.  He’s dying.  Doctors said he had months to live and here two years later he is still doing what all four-year old do, play and laugh and laugh and laugh.  His laugh is infectious.

Listen to the parents share their story. They share Joel’s story. They cannot think about tomorrow.  It isn’t because they don’t want to. It’s because it takes too much energy. They need to be here in the present to live their lives, to care for their three other children and to care for Joel. The task seems daunting.

The video confirms that living in the present forces us to deal with reality.  For Joel’s parents living in the moment allows them to savor each second with Joel because it’s doubtful he will be here tomorrow.

When Was the Last Time You Were Lost in the Moment?

When was the last time you were lost in the moment? Or perhaps the question is, have you ever been lost in the moment? Before living here, on Saba full-time, I use to claim I lived in the moment but the truth was I lived in the future. I think, it’s the American way.

Americans are planners. We’re always planning or sometimes we live other people’s plan for us.  Today’s parents plan every step of their children’s lives from the moment they are born. Everything is part of a master plan. Everything is selected based on their child going to this school, taking part in this activity so that when the time comes they will be acceptable to the university and free to pursue their dreams.

Americans are  a people on the move.  Always looking to tomorrow without enjoying the here and now. When you live for tomorrow, tomorrow never comes because it’s always tomorrow.

Living on a small island in the middle of the Caribbean has its positives.  I stop wearing a watch almost two years ago.  My cell phone is a pay as you go.  It’s my old iPhone. I don’t text. I don’t use voice mail.  My phone never rings and I don’t call anyone. I spend my time in the moment by enjoying the company of friends, making dinner, watching the sunset, the incoming rain storm or a hummingbird fluttering from flower-to-flower. Not focusing on tomorrow is less stressful. It is simply going with the flow and letting life unfold before. You cannot predict tomorrow.  It will come regardless of what we do today so enjoying the moment is an opportunity that will never come again while there will always be a tomorrow.


Unconditional Love at Its Best.

There is something to be said about unconditional love. I heard that it exists between a parent and a child.  A parent will always support his child regardless of what the child did. That of course is a fallacy since there are lots of examples of a parent withdrawing their support when a child fails to live up to their expectations.

Unconditional love exist between a dog and his master or in this case a dog and his new playmate. Have a look.  If this doesn’t bring a tear to your eye then you need new glasses.

Do You Believe in Karma?

Do you believe in Karma?  Some people do and others don’t. I fall into the “do” group.  The reason is not clear except that I believe that each of us, no matter where we live, we are connected to each other. No matter where you are.  No matter how much money you have or what your nationality is we share something and we share everything.  We share the air. We share the sunshine and we share the planet.

When you walk down the street what do you see?  Do you see the elderly person walking slowly?  Do you see the homeless person sitting with a dog holding a sign? Do you ever wonder what happened to the homeless person’s life to bring him to this place? Do you ever think it could be you?

We arrived in this world with nothing and we will leave with nothing but somewhere along this journey people have been kind to us. Kindness comes in the smallest ways. It come sometimes when we least expect it.

I believe what I do today will come back to me tomorrow, tenfold. I know I cannot solve the world’s problems but I can help one person in need. It starts with one act. The benefits are equally powerful for the giver and the receiver.

Am I Blue?

Am I blue? Am I Blue?

The answer is yes.  Why? I haven’t a clue except everything is off-center. I don’t get depressed often but when I do, it’s like nothing else. So, I’m out of it today. I’m watching life pass by to where doesn’t really matter.

Maybe I’m not as depressed as I think because I laughed when I watched this video.  As you may notice, it’s only men listening to our cape crusader.  Do you think, Batman is in the closet?  This requires more research.

The Secret to Intimacy.

What’s the secret to intimacy? There isn’t one solitary answer to the question. Intimacy is a reflection of who we are but more importantly it’s what we are willing to share with our partners.

I read Tuesdays with Morrie many years ago. The story is about a student who discovers that one of his former college professors is dying from Lou Gehrig disease. Frankly, I could not image a more horrific way to die. The student visits his teacher every Tuesday and together they relive their past. Along the way the student learns about life, relationships and family.

There is a notable passage which I believe is one of the most beautiful I’ve ever read, “I want someone who will catch me when I am falling in the dark”. I was single when I read Tuesdays with Morrie. I felt that if I was ever lucky enough to meet someone again I had to trust him enough to know he would catch me.

I did meet him and yes I knew he would catch me if I was falling in the dark. Part of intimacy is being able to bear your soul and know that the other person is there for you, without judgment and without commentary.


Coming Out.

I think that coming out is one of the hardest things I’ve done. I believe and I could be wrong but I think most gay people suffer the same angst about coming out to family and friends. I thought this clip summarized it perfect.  Let me know what you think.

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